With 5+ years of expertise— which is just a fancy way of saying I’ve survived more software updates than most smartphones — I’ve turned phrases like “budget flagship” and “glorified paperweight” into art. Professionally, I juggle editorial hot takes that’s 80% jargon and 20% praying the product actually works. My hobbies? A pathological need to collect gadgets I’ll use twice and daydreaming about cars I can’t afford. (P.S. Slide into my DMs for tech recs or motorcycle memes. No crypto bros, pls.)